We Always Drift Back
by karkashan
Summary: Honestly, I don't think the Shodaime appreciates what we get up to on his hair. Oneshot, Obito x Fem!Naru. Rated M for mentioning.


"You wanna run that by me one more time, Uchiha Noriko?" He, the Hokage, asks his assistant (not his wife, like he wants her to be, but his cousin's instead), probably with more force than actually necessary.

_The first time it happened she, a fresh jonin, had come by the office to congratulate him on finishing his first day on the job as Hokage. He had been appreciative of her company, and told her as much. This caused her to smile in that sultry way that drove him up the wall and reply that if he really was oh so appreciative; he might as well come and join her for a few drinks. He didn't remember much of anything else that night, except nothing would quite be both as exhilarating and frightening as having to muffle her screams because oh god above sensei was asleep in the next room and wouldn't that be the lamest way for a Hokage to die. _

Uchiha Noriko, Godaime Hokage's assistant and Yondaime Hokage's daughter, flicked her blonde hair behind her head and scowled softly at her boss. "I want to remove myself from the Uchiha clan registry," she said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

_Second time they did the deed was the same day she was engaged to be married to his cousin Shisui. Though she didn't tell the Hokage this, she would've been fine with marrying his cousin had the arrangement come about 3 years earlier. He was a nice guy, and she was pretty damn sure she could learn to love him, but damn it all her heart was set on an entirely different Uchiha at the moment, and no, she didn't care that all his precious paperwork would be messed up because of her actions._

"Well, I call bullshit on the 'you' part of wanting your name removed from the registry, so let me repeat; you wanna run that by me on more time? This time with less blatant lies, if you please." It was at this point that he stood up from behind his desk and finally made his way around to her.

_After she had married, they had both resolved to themselves to give up on any hope of a relationship between them (other than professional). But Shisui had been gone on an extended mission when they got the news that Kakashi had died and at that moment neither of them had wanted to be alone and had just fallen into it. It was only later, after that strange, protracted awkward moment before she left to return to her new home, that he reflected on how fucked up it was to have sex with another man's wife while she carried her husband's offspring within her._

Noriko's expression only grew more irritated by her boss's refusal to listen to her well-rehearsed bullshit. "Okay, fine," she said with a light growl, "if you really wanna know that bad, I'll tell you. Your clan's laws are fucked up to all shit, you know that? As long as I bear the name Uchiha, it's up to the clan head whether or not I'm fit enough to raise my child, not the Special Office of Family Affairs like it normally would be."

_This time neither of them really have any excuse at all. They're really just bored out of their minds because for some weird reason all the paperwork is done way earlier then it conceivably should be and he just has to make that inane comment about the Shodaime Hokage and next thing they know, they're on the carved likeness of his head. This time he doesn't bother trying to silence her when they do the deed, part of him almost wanting to get caught, just so he could look at his cousin and childishly say that he had her first. It's at this point, after they're done, that he jokingly pleads with her to become a polygamist, because he would be perfectly fine being her second husband. He wakes up with his hand in a bowl of warm water the next day due to this statement, but the strange look on her face was totally worth it._

His eye narrow immediately at this statement. "I want you to tell me the names of the clan members who've been insinuating that you are, in any way shape or form, an unfit mother. I'm sure I can find an appropriate suicide mission to send them on."

Noriko rolled her eyes. "While your protectiveness is charming," she drawled, "nobody actually said anything. It's just that after Shisui died I read up on the Uchiha laws that Konoha allows them to uphold." She sighed. "I don't know anything about Uchiha techniques, customs, or the various particulars of the Police Force, Obito. And those three things are something that my son needs to know about. There will come a time when that will become an issue with some of your clansmen, and I don't want Itachi backed into a corner over this. But if I'm no longer a Uchiha, then even if Itachi is forced to adopt the child so that my son can learn what he has a right to learn…"

"You can still remain his primary caregiver." He rubbed his hair in frustration. "You'd think it would be the opposite, that the techniques and social cues could just be taught by the other clan members while the remaining parent raised the child. But no, that just wouldn't do. What if the parent began to act all stuck-up by osmosis? Then where would the clan be?"

_All she had said to him was 'thank you for bringing him back' the day after the funeral, and he had just lost it, curling around her and just shivering, holding onto her like she was the only lifeline he had. After that, they had just given in to each other. He might of accidentally proposed to her at one point, but she had pointedly ignored it due to his then drunken state. He had never divulged what he had seen at that madman's lair, but she had noticed that he never wore his battle-mask again after that, and decided to never ask._

She raises an eyebrow at this and has to fight the incoming chuckle. "Did you just finally admit that your entire clan is genetically predisposed towards stuck-up, asshole-ish behavior? Keep up those comments, and I might just let you give me a tour of the Shodaime's hair again, Godaime-sama."

It's at this point that his brain seems to crash and burn for a few precious moments, before it decided to switch gears entirely and now he's thinking '_fuck it, why not?'_ and is reaching into a hidden drawer in his desk before he could ever hope to stop himself.

"Yo, blondie," he said to her with a smirk as he hands her the open black box, "what's your answer on maybe possibly marrying me?"

Noriko smiled at this. "Yes, idiot Hokage." After putting the ring on, she walks up to him and says, "Now about that tour…"

It's only later, much later, that he recognizes that his fiancé is an evil, evil woman, and that she'd been directing the conversation towards that goal to begin with.


End file.
